Saturday, June 8, 2013

Cleveland Indians closer is a stoner

by Clifford F. Thies 

The Cleveland Indians have him on the Disabled List for muscle soreness, for which in California he got prescribed marijuana no doubt. The problem is the All-Star pitcher for the Cleveland Indians decided to mail the pot to himself, in Ohio, where possession is still a crime under state law. 

Apparently, the stoner thought he could get away with the drop by sealing his six reefers in a plastic baggie, and then wrapping the baggie is an unwashed shirt, and then mailing the package to his dog "Brody Baum" (Baum being his wife's maiden name). Unfortunately, a police dog caught whiff of the controlled substance, which resulted in a search warrant, which resulted in an arrest. 

Victor Perez, who is reported to make $7.3 million a year, is slated to become a free agent in 2015, if he's not otherwise committed. 

Perhaps Afroman could add a lyric to his song: "Because I got high."
I was gonna go into the free agent market, but I was high; I was gonna sign a multi-year deal, but I got high; But now I'm waiting for my court date, and I know why; Because I got high, because I got high, because I got high.
Note from the Editor - It's Saturday. And we - ahem - traditionally "loosen" the format on Saturdays. Thanks to our Senior Editor Cliff Thies for turning me onto Afro Man... I think?

No comments: