Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Rating the Oscars: Mostly Lewd, Rude, Crude, Inappropriate and Perverse

by Clifford F. Thies 

There were some genuine highlights to this year's Oscar Awards. But, mostly, this year's awards were vulgar, disgraceful and simply wrong. On the plus side, we enjoyed the moment of candor shared with us by Ben Affleck's acceptance (as a co-producer) of the Best Picture Award (for "Argo"). Little Quvenzhane Wallis was just the sweetest. And, Shirley Bassie and Adele wonderfully book-ended fifty years of Bond theme songs. 

While we are being positive, we will, without explanation, simply mention that of all the lovely ladies, we rate Catherine Zeta-Jones as #1 and award honorable mentions to Nicole Kidman in the fashion category and Salma Hayek in the accented category.

On the minus side, where do we begin? Which was the worst joke: The John Wilkes Booth joke? The Nazi joke? The Roman Polanski joke? Was the idea to insult every sensibility, and, in so doing, to proclaim the superiority of the liberal elite over common people? Or, is the idea that "all men are created equal and endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights" so passe, that the progressives now revel in the idea of "Ubermensch" of Nietzsche, and that they are the Ubermensch. In the category of crude, we give the Oscar to the evening's musical director for using the theme from Jaws more than once to enforce the time limit on acceptance speeches. The first time was kind of funny, as though a shark was circling and you had to get out of the water. The second time, no, the playfulness of the image was gone. Playing the theme became coercive. A threat of the use of force. 

In the category of rude, we give the Oscar to TED, for his banter about Jews controlling Hollywood. Why don't we talk about blacks controlling basketball? Or whites NASCAR? Or Asians math and science? What does it mean, really, if the members of a particular group enjoy extraordinary success in a particular field, if that field is open to any individual regardless of group identity? I'll answer that question. 

Possibly, there is a genetic component. Northern Europeans, for example, have very low incidence of lactose-intolerance (we believe because it was important for them to ingest animal milk and milk products to survive to the age of reproduction). More probably, we think the reason is cultural. People, such as the Jews, as well as the overseas Lebanese, Indians and Chinese, who live in alien cultures appear to have a good ability to assess market trends, given that they have a somewhat independent perspective of the market. 

In the category of lewd, we give the Oscar to Seth MacFarlane for his song "We saw your boobies." There is a difference between nude and lewd, and while a Supreme Court Justice famously said he couldn't define the difference, he could nevertheless tell the difference when he sees it, we will define the difference. A person can be nude and not lewd if this is involved in artistic expression, in which one's body is itself treated as a work of art, or in which one's sexuality is part of one's personhood. The opposite is when one's sexuality is divorced from personhood. MacFarlane in reducing nudity to mere nip shots, denied the artistic expression of these actresses. 

In the problematic category, we place Michelle Obama, Anne Hathaway and Russell Crowe. Michele Obama for associating herself with an event that sometimes devolves into a frat house of the narcissistic. Let's reserve the Presidency for recognizing artistic expression (among other manifestations of freedom) in the award of the Medal of Freedom. Anne Hathaway for her boyish hair cut and nipple-emphasizing dress. And, Russell Crowe for his chutzpah vocal performance.


jgeleff said...

When you boil it down, what are these award shows like the Oscars? A bunch of self important egotists spending gobs of money on baubles to look good to the public while congratulating each other for pretending to be someone or something they aren't. Sound like the U.S. Congress to you?

Eric Dondero said...

Sounds like the Democrat Party USA to me.

Eric Dondero said...

Congress ain't the problem.

It's DEMOCRATS IN CONGRESS that's the problem.

Defeat and Destroy all Democrats EVERYWHERE!!!

Jemas said...

You know, I continue to find it very amusing that film, music, literature, art in general really, is dominated by liberal ideals. You get your exceptions, your Bruce Willis here (who is a solid and respectable actor and was robbed of a Best Supporting Actor nomination for his performance in Moonrise Kingdom), your Ted Nugent there (who is a beyond shitty musician, always was, always will be). Hell, you occasionally get an Ayn Rand, who is an awful, awful, awful writer, but one that you're all contractually obligated to pretend isn't. But overall, the arts are liberal. You want to know why?

Because being an artist (generally) requires intellect, compassion and a creative soul. And if you have those things, you have to give them up if you want to be a conservative. Especially intellect. I mean, if any of you had any intellect, you'd freak out the moment you took a look at this site.

Also, the remark about Ann Hathaway's haircut was catty and stupid (as far as I can tell, she got it cut for her role in Les Miserables), but then I guess I shouldn't expect better from you.

And jgeleff, what is literature but someone writing about things that didn't happen. I mean, this George RR Martin guy, he writes about all this crazy stuff, like dragons and magic, no merit in that. And what is music, but people making noises they wouldn't normally make. I mean, people don't just burst into song on the street, why have music?

Or, because I'm not 100 percent certain you understand sarcasm, the Oscars are about drawing attention to movies that are deeper and more intellectually challenging that your average movie, as some brilliant movies like No Country for Old Men, Up in the Air, Black Swan, etc. would never get mainstream public recognition if they didn't win or get nominated for Oscars. But I assume you wouldn't know artistry if it hit you in the face.

Queens, New York, NY