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Thursday, November 1, 2012

Other Predictors

by Clifford F. Thies

Are the polls making you crazy? Do you want the real dope, the skinny, the inside information? O.K., here, being as we are libertarians, we will not be judgmental. We we do not hesitate to feed the disease.

The Washington Redskins Rule

This predictor is that if the Washington Redskins win their last home game prior to the election, the party of the incumbent will win the election. On Sunday, at 1 pm, the Redskins will play their last home game prior to the election, against the Carolina Panthers. According to the bookies, the Redskins are a 3 point favorite. Coincidently, Romney has a 3 point advantage over Obama in the Rasmussen Poll.

The Sixth Day Rule

In every election since 1845, when the Congress nailed down the election day as the day after the first Monday of November, the Republicans have won every election held on November 6th. In 1860, Abraham Lincoln. 1888, Benjamin Harrison. 1900, William McKinley. 1928, Herbert Hoover. 1956, Dwight Eisenhower. And, 1984, Ronald Reagan. What is strange and eerie about this rule is that the Republican Party didn't even exist in 1845. How did the Congress know?

Astrology

The consensus among professional astrologers appears to be that Obama will win. As best as I can figure their reasoning out, an election prediction requires interpreting the charts of both candidates. As one astrologer puts it, "It is difficult to see how the activation of these placements [of the stars] could reflect a victory for Romney on election day, and ultimately they seem to be indicative of the scenarios of upset, frustration and loss that he experienced in other instances in his life when this same axis has been activated."

Perhaps somebody out there can make better sense of this forecast:

Unwrapping the Torah

According to one Torah scroll "unwrapper", letter sequences indicating Obama-Romney appear twice; and, in both cases, the closest letter sequence indicating President is closed to the Romney part than to the Obama part. These letter sequences are determined with the aid of computer-scans of the Torah in Hebrew, and algorithms that follow skipping rules, such as "every other letter," or every third, and so forth, until an answer the word or words are found.

The world's most famous de-coder of the Torah through the use of algorithms to discover letter sequences through skipping rules is Robert Aumann, the Nobel Laureate economist, who helped to develop game theory and to apply it to geopolitical strategies such as mutual assured destruction.

While we, at L-R, appreciate his contributions in the area of economic science, we remain skeptic of the search for hidden messages and other forms of gnostic or secret knowledge.

8 comments:

Ran / SVP said...

Our predictor here at LR is historically reliable. We merely take the prognostications of lefties and state the opposite. Worked every time so far...

The Right Guy said...

Except in 2008.

Ran / SVP said...

Not so fast. Granted, you're right - BUT - Everyone, including McCain, knew he was going to lose.

When your running mate is consistently out-drawing your crowds by four to ten times the size, you know your campaign is in deep, er, trouble.

The Right Guy said...

When you are a doddering idiot and a bucked toothed dick licking dope smoking wanna be messiah cum fabian socialist beats you in debates and uses you as a ass tampon, well, of course you should know you are going to lose. I think McCain new he was going to lose because he couldn't overcome the race gap. Everyone (enough people) wanted to feel good electing the first black president. It didn't matter if he was competent or not, a marxist or messiah. Hope and Change! Well, how did that one work? With all due respect for his service and sacrifice, he was McLame. Palin was the pin cushion and patsy in way. She took a lot of abuse for her troubles of saying yes to the question of running with McCain. Some will even posit that his hopelessness showed in picking Palin in the first place.

Now fast forward 4 years. Obama is exposed for what he is and we don't have McLame running. If anything, Romney became a better candidate in not winning last time. He learned. Now we'll see if he can overcome the massive voter fraud.

Chuck said...

In Republican politics, everybody runs twice. You can go back and look at every nominee back to Eisenhower. GW was the exception to a pretty established rule. I think the reason for his exception was linguistic in nature.

The Right Guy said...

And here I thought it was genetic.

Chuck said...

Linguistic. I think you're confused about how nepotism works. It's a top down deal. It doesn't get voted on.
hehe

The Right Guy said...

I am well acquainted with it